Thursday, July 22, 2010

El Pulpo Paul

El Almirante wrote a reggaeton about Paul the Octopus. Below, I attempt to convey the retarded brilliance of the lyrics en inglés. Behold:


Move your tentacles
Swim without obstacles
Move your tentacles
Swim without obstacles

Paul the Octopus
You tell me what's going to happen
Bets, you make me win
Paul the Octopus

You're a playful guy with an intelligent look
They saw you in the tank and said, "This octopus is different."
Put a box there and he picks the winner
of the game in Germany that happened today

You sat on a box, you became universal
You're not just a cephalopod, you're a know-it-all!
You became the star of the World Cup which is now over
You're on my mind, and in my heart you scored a goal
a goal

Tell me the future, Paul

Give me heat, give me rhyme
Paul, your eye excites me

Paul the Octopus
You tell me what's going to happen
Your body makes me dream
Paul the Octopus

I believed in Walter Mercado until I met you
Don't let yourself be made into soup, before you do tell me more about yourself
Your my magic 8-Ball, my magic trinket
Unlike a rabbit's foot, you know what's going to happen
Paul, let's make the most of your time left
Come on, let's go to Las Vegas, get in my pool
Tell me what's going to happen, tell me when there will be an earthquake
If the world is going to end
If rock, if rock
If rock, paper, or scissors

Come on, let's dance

Paul the Octopus
You tell me what's going to happen
Bets, you make me win
Paul the Octopus

Move your tentacles, tell me what you're thinking
Convince my girlfriend to do perverse things
And if you leave one day, don't you forget us
Leave us your teachings
Write down your journeys with your ink
And move your belly

Paul likes polka
Paul likes Paul Anka
And chatting on the beach

I love you, Paul
Don't ever change
You're amazing
Get those eight over here
You have your tentacles and me
I feel like moving my...

Paul the Octopus
You tell me what's going to happen
Bets, you make me win
Paul the Octopus

If I were an octopus I'd be Paul
And if I were pulp, I'd be mango
mango